For 17 years, Anthony’s identity revolved around his time in the Army.
When he was discharged after being injured in Afghanistan, he didn’t know who he was anymore. He entered the military immediately after high school at just 18 years old.
The years he spent traveling from country to country carried him from boyhood to manhood. When he no longer had the security of each day being structured and routine, he no longer had a comfort zone or the emotional support of friends he had met who he could relate to.
He struggled to transition into the mindset of the everyday civilian. He lives each day with symptoms of PTSD. Most of all, Anthony said he was afraid of failing in his life after the service.
“Until I let go, I couldn’t overcome my fear of failure,” Anthony said. “It’s hard thinking of myself as a civilian. That fear of failure, even though I always give my 100% no matter what, wherever I’m at.”
But how do you let go of a time that made up the majority of your life?
Anthony said he had to reinvent himself. He took what he was best at in the service, physical fitness, and turned it into his new way of life as a civilian. He has worked as a personal trainer and a fitness instructor since.
Though he has had to let go of the formative years of his youth, Anthony said the military side of his identity will never truly be gone. At his funeral some day, there will be a gun salute, a flag draped over his casket.
“It’s going to still be there, but it’s down the street and around the corner,” Anthony said.
