Drew spent years of his life either not caring about his physical body at all or caring about nothing else.
In and out of rehab programs, Drew only wanted to numb the pain he felt living in his body. He wanted to forget about what others thought of him, including what he thought of himself.
He had grown up in a loving home — the normal happy family. But when his parents split up when he was a teenager, his happy family came crashing down. That led to him abusing drugs and alcohol from then on.
He eventually started working out, regaining some of his physical health he had depleted over the years. But he said his physical state became his priority rather than who he was beyond just a body. He was still empty inside.
Drew realized his struggle with drugs came from his inability to love himself. He always sought love from others — his parents, a partner, a substance.
Craving acceptance of his physical appearance became a drug of its own.
Relapses caused him to lose everything he had rebuilt — his relationship, his home, his family, his job. After how far he had come, he still didn’t know who he was and still didn’t love whoever that was supposed to be.
He picked back up again after the coronavirus began to shutter life as we knew it. He had nothing but his clothes, relegated to sleeping on the streets. He said he was at the point of accepting death.
Another shot at rehab has since helped Drew pull through and has given him another chance at finding himself.
“I had to say goodbye to the fear of not loving myself,” Drew said. “Once I found the person I can be, even outside of my body, I see the effect I can have in other peoples’ lives. We’ve got to say goodbye to certain things for new things to come in your life.”
